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Boundaries: Why Just knowing about them is not enough

12/10/2015

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Knowing about boundaries and actually placing limits are two very different things. 

To know that you have a need for certain boundaries is not the same as instilling boundaries. Why is this important?

The process of learning about boundaries is a starting point. You may have learned over time that you need to place a limit around how much time you spend on Facebook or other social media, you may have realized after much thinking that you would do better to read your unfinished books, or apply for that job that's been on the back burner for a while... but now you may be facing a new problem: you know all this, but putting them into practice now seems like a new challenge. And yes, it is. Perhaps not for everyone, but it definitely is a new level of practice: of making it happen in your day-to-day life. 

This takes practice. You can use whatever means at your disposal: reminders, reflections, commitments, but the idea remains the knowing of boundaries is distinct from the setting of boundaries. 

Knowing this can help guide you when you are tempted (which is normal when you are making changes in your habits) to fall back into older patterns of behaving.

Fear not: your goal is to remember that you are practicing a new habit and before it takes hold, you may fall back into old patterns, repeat old ways that can discourage and dissuade you from your commitment to change. Development and change are not always linear, and that's OK. Next time you fall back on forgetting to instill a personal boundary, step back, accept and learn from it. Do not use it to discourage or dissuade you from your growth and practice for positive change. Staying on track is a practice of its own. Fall if you have to, get up when it's time and continue.

Good luck on practicing placing limits! 

For more on boundaries, see the link to Boundaries on the right.

Personal counselling is offered at long-distance (Skype/other) and in-person sessions with Arash Kameli, MA, C.C.C., who will be able to professionally process specific challenges you may be facing and help you reach your goals faster and enjoyably. If you are interested in personal counselling for your own life/career goals, call: 514-594-1215 (confidential voicemail) or contact Arash Kameli by clicking here. You will get a response in 24 business hours. 

Got questions? Feel free to ask here. 

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    Arash Kameli

    Trained therapist to help you with your uniques needs in anxiety, anger, depression and couples issues.

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